ROD LIDDLE AND THE TRUE STORY OF ACID HOUSE

Exclusive! Ecstasy-soaked excerpts from a series of books by randoms, telling you how it was back then, today…

'The early acid house days were Rumplestiltskin's on Wednesdays, Cleopatra's on Fridays, then the Milking Machine on Saturdays with DJ Judge Reinhold, DJ Towering Steven and Mad Alan Flannigan.'

'The DJ would drop cakes in the booth for his corgis to lick off the floor. Every time I popped into the booth I'd end up standing in Victoria sponge or on a corgi's tongue.'

'A Balearic knees up in a scout hut in Lambeth with a load of lumps in paisley shirts.'

'Richard Branson and Sting playing dub on one deck, on top a 40ft rickety monolith of speakers surround by flashing squad car lights'

'Petty crooks, berks, arsonists, big heads, recruitment managers, Geordies, ding-a-lings, imaginary friends, football hooligans, Queen Marys, blokes called Toby in brightly coloured callards, all doing the foot stamping dance.'

'The first time I ever shat on my own knackers I was on octahedral Es in the Twisted Stamen and there were no kharzi doors.'

'Bank robbers used to mix with civil servants and office strumpets, on the strawberry smoke-filled dance floor and it was heavenly PLUR vibes. Now everybody just fucking hates each other.'

'BASE London Shoes.'

'We used to spend the day at the football shouting people's names, then get beaked up and stand around in acid house clubs chatting about jibbing and fruit machine cheats.'

'Call the cops!'

'Ecstasy affected what we wore, which resulted in Bermondsey barrow-boys wearing heavy-weight Japanese flared-jeans, abattoir wellies and 'Arthur English' removal-man jackets.'

'Chug Boat Peters being cosmic and cultivating beards. "Ooh, you sorcery monkey!"'

'The best dancers' legs became a blur as they reached incredible speeds. Practice paid off – some lads would dance all day in the factory, even when they were doing kharzi. Fists clenched, face forward, winking at all the top lads. Dancing faster and faster and faster… It’s what’s missing from today’s dance floors. Nobody gets it.'

Other books also available in this series written by people who may or may not been involved with the acid house scene...

Issue TwoSteve Beale